Ross Mayfield

apricot

all of my time

slippin' into rewind

even the stars

are always inside

i'm just a fruit

fallen far from the tree

you take a bite

and maybe you'll see

my mind's overgrown

but i'm still planting seeds

everything's in motion,

shapes keep molding,

sunbeams glowing

a river of thought

isn't much to the sea

ideas keep flowing,

i can't slow it,

gotta let it go then

orchids growing from my eyes

apricots splattered

in the skies

feeling good,

never been so high

wanna feel this way

all the time

all of my time

slippin' into rewind

even the stars

are always inside

i'm just a fruit

fallen far from the tree

you take a bite

and maybe you'll see

summer's fallen

you will let it out

don't give up

you're so close now

why let those feelings

in the way?

i feel my body melting,

i try to hold it down

i'm gonna dig inside

and see what I find

you wanna go about it

running in circles

i'm falling sideways

through the door

oh no

all of my time

slippin' into rewind

even the stars

are always inside

i'm just a fruit

fallen far from the tree

you take a bite

and maybe you'll see

WITH THE FLOW

i'm just stuck in my head

at least that's what you said

something's always

in the way of my feelings

can't help but see the faults

think i waited too long

patiently distracted it seems

my ideals were too strong

couldn't see right

in front of me

ya come around

my heart start skippin' like

uh uh, uh uh

my heart starts skippin'

and it goes like

uh uh, uh uh, look

damn baby,

why you mess with me?

i'm tryna keep

this shit together

but you stressin' me

i been doing all i can

to be a better me

but you been pushin'

all my buttons,

get the best of me

so chill out with that,

this ain't love,

i'm off that

that means when

i stop textin',

don't start callin' me back

cuz I mean it, i'm done,

guess you live and you learn

bout to have me some fun

and it's nunya concern, nah

i knew it all along

i didn't need you

(i didn't need you)

was doing you a favor

just to keep you

(sheesh!)

i'ma keep it pushin' right now

i'd say see you 'round,

but that's hard

cuz you're see-through

desire's achin'

wishful thinkin'

unfulfilled and incomplete

always the same

with someone new

"just go with the flow,"

nothing harder to do

i'm in over my head

(and i'm still reachin' up)

wonder what you had meant

(did you give a fuck?)

why don't you

just say what you're thinking?

wish i could tell you how i...

feel, nah

feel, ooh-wah

feel, nah

feel love

ya come around

my heart start skippin' like

uh uh, uh uh

my heart starts skippin'

and it goes like

uh uh, uh uh, look

lost

waking up to the sound of rain

a million pearls

fall down on my face

in my chest you plant the seed

watch the roots begin to spread

if a tree yields no leaves

it sucks the life out instead

it seems like i'm all alone

will i lose my mind?

i'm waiting for something

but nothing comes

lost again

can't find my way

i'll give it up

if it means you'll stay

my mind is always sinking

will I ever take a breath?

i've given you everything i can

so tell me, what is left?

it seems like i'm all alone

will i lose my mind?

i'm waiting for something

but nothing comes

they want to turn me into

something that they can use

they tell me what i need to

fulfill a life they choose

but i don't want to be alone

and i can't

just stand and watch

as i turn into something

i don't even recognize

jlr

can you call that love?

obsessing over words

that you haven’t even said

a quickly fading dream…

the image fades away,

but the feeling still remains

and i can’t understand

just what you wanted

wanted from me

am i wasting my time,

when i ring up your line?

or am i more to you than that?

i’m posing the question,

i’ll ask for your blessing,

i’ll try my best to

be what you want me to be

and i can keep waiting,

yeah, i can be patient,

tell me is it

time that you need from me?

cuz i rarely feel

something as strong as this,

my feelings for you

have you nothing o say to me?

can’t you just speak?

i hesitate

to call you name,

i fear that you won’t answer

if it’s just a game,

then who’s to blame?

i wonder…

will we ever be?

departure

in a

constant state of leaving,

my love

is always fleeting

you stay where you are,

but i can’t sacrifice mobility

please don’t count on me

for false stability

am i lying to you,

or am i lying to myself?

what’s our expiration date?

the clock is tickin’

while we’re just sittin’

it seems the end’s

already been written

so i’m taking some time away

now start your engine,

cut the brakes,

kick it in gear,

and accelerate

think we’d be better off apart

with so much shit between us

we both played our part

but now we must depart

am i lying to you,

or am i lying to myself?

months away

i don’t want to leave you,

but i see no other choice

i’m so far away from you

in a land i’ve never known

laying awake,

as i feed a fantasy

i’m yearning for your touch

in a distant memory

and the air is growing

so thick between us

and i can’t breathe

no, i…

how could i

predict the way i’d feel?

i thought that i could manage

just a few months away

can’t you feel the needle

puncturing your skin?

lacing up a pattern,

concealing what’s within

overlaying the fabric

of my daily routine

stitched together

while we’re tearing

at the seams

and the air is growing

so thick between us

and i can’t breathe

your pixelated tears

are raining down my screen

but it’s all the same to me

how could i

predict the way i’d feel?

i thought that i could manage

just a few months away